I am grateful to God for His hand in my life. When I was only 7 years old my parents left me with my grandparents. It is very hard time to accept my parents leaving especially hard because I was treated badly. The older I got the worse things became. Then my grandma died. Even though she is harsh with me I still loved her and missed her when she pass away. People in the village told me that it is my fault that she died. I felt so sad and all alone and even the comfort I expected from my aunty and friends wasn’t there because they also say I am to blame. I really didn’t understand why but it affected me so much.
One day my mother returned and she force me to go with her to the home place of my father. At first I resist because of my pain. I never thought she would ever return. My little heart hurt. When I approached my mother she embraced me and I my tears came and couldn’t let go or stop crying. It was the first hug I experienced in my life. As we traveled together I felt some hope coming back in my heart. I tried hard to believe that something better was coming. When we arrived I met so many family for the first time. They all seem nice but I don’t understand them because they speak a different dialect. Even in the school I attended the language was not familiar so I stayed silent so I would not be ashamed. I finally met a girl who also understood my dialect so we became friends. It was nice to have a friend because others laughed at me. When they mocked me it brought back the pain I pushed down.
One time in high school there was a boy who joked and laughed with his friends about me. To my surprise I hit him with a broomstick in the head. Anger became very real to me and was how I dealt with my pain. I would always ask myself why I acted that way but didn’t know how to stop. One day there was a lady who passed our house and was very friendly to my mother. She would always greet her as she passed by. One day this same lady passed by when my mother wasn’t home and greeted me and started a conversation with me. Even I’m not friendly to her she patiently approached me each week and talked to me in a way no one else ever did. She shared to me about God and it was new for me to hear.
One day my mother went with her to church and accepted Christ. After hearing the word of God and feeling God’s presence during worship one Sunday I too accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior! One by one my family around me was getting saved! It amazed me that Jesus paid for my sins especially how undeserving I was. My heart was so grateful for His love and mercy. The Pastor and other in that church helped disciple me.
Slowly God started healing my heart. In many ways He is still healing and growing me to this day. I was able to experience some outreaches while at the church and loved to be able to share with others about our loving God. One day my Pastor shared with me about his friend Derek that started a ministry called Hope for the Island. His wife just gave birth to a son and they needed a babysitter to live with and help them. I had just graduated high school and had a desire to go to school but I also needed money so I accepted the position even though I had no experience and was afraid. Looking back now I am so thankful that God provided this opportunity. He had His purpose for me that I was unaware of. When I arrive at Hope for the Island I don’t know what to do or say and realized I am faced with another language I don’t understand – English! I thought to myself what did I get myself into! Ate Jenn was nice and shared to me about some of my works and tried to ask questions but it is hard for me to answer. When she introduced me to baby Brison I was so shocked and thought he was a doll. The only white baby I saw was a doll in a store! I really enjoyed my time with Brison and amazed at all I learned about raising a Canadian baby. After one year of work, the Van Ryckeghem family was planning to travel to Canada. They said that my work and attitude was good. They gave me the option of being able to go back to my family or stay on as an assistant staff at Hope for the Island. I don’t know why but I cried. I accepted to stay on and was sent to Cagayan city with other staff for training to teach preschool students.
Since that day I always stayed with Hope for the Island (7years) and have learned so much and God use my life to minister in the school and outreaches with kids and youth ministry. There are many challenges that come up still because of my upbringing but I trust God has purpose in it all. There is a scripture that always stays in my mind and heart. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”.
Being a part of Hope for the Island is a blessing from the Lord. It is my family of God. Kuya Derek and Ate Jenn have taught me about true Christian living. You will always be in my heart. Please pray that I will stay in God’s will and serve Him in all His ways. Glory and honor to God!
